Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Randomize
