There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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