glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
