My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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