So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
