Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
