Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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