Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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