Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
