My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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