I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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