Me too!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
