So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
