so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
