I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
where are you?
Hypothermia
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
