do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
