she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
