Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
