Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
