even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
