how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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