dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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