i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
