the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
