Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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