Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
