Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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