I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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