Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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