At least make sure they are 18
Why
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
