I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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