Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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