# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
