I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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