Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
