It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
