but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
