hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
