Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
