its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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