she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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