my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
