Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
