Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
