I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
