Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
