sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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