u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
