LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
