Well douche your snatch and let's go!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
