He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
