I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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