I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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