just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
