So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
